Branded to Kill (Day 2: Favourite Movie)

The success of a director like Seijun Suzuki shouldn't happen. Imagine what would happen if one of the directors from the straight to DVD cheese factory Asylum decided instead of making a souless rip off of GI Joe and instead decided to make an all out gonzo art film instead. It's Antichrist for the z-fare audience. That's who Suzuki was, back in the 60s. Working for Nikatsu Studios he was tasked with making low rent crime and sexploitation movies. Sleaze and cheese. Bored with making cinematic meat for his employers, he decided to create avant-garde crime cinema. Branded To Kill is the last in what unofficially consider to be the last part of his Yakuza Pop Trilogy (the first two are Youth of the Beast and Tokyo Drifter), a movie so stylized and so weird that it caused him to be fired from Nikatsu and be blacklisted from the biz for over a decade.

Branded to Kill plays to Suzuki's strengths, having scene after scene of well framed action sequences as well as a protagonist with a twisted sense of sexuality. This is the only movie outside of a director like Miike or Cronenburg who could have a protagonist who needs the scent of a warm bowl of rice as a sexual aid.

The set pieces are brilliant as well. Two of Ghost Dog's assassinations are lifted whole sale from this movie, including the famous butterfly sniper scene that Matt Fraction acknowledges in the back matter of Casanova as being an influence on his work.

Branded To Kill, like most of my favourite movies, sticks with me for sheer audacity and willingness to buck conventional structure. Check it out.

Day 1: Favourite Song

Pixies-U-Mass

If I'm to believe my last.fm account (http://www.last.fm/user/kungfucowboy) my favourite song of the last 5 odd years is LCD Soundsystem's 45:33. But last.fm is trapdoor spider, filling you with false hope before it eats you alive. The only reason that it tops my list with an elegant 100 plays is that it's part of an album of the same name, a nike+ mix. It's 8 songs long, all dedicated to getting the blood traveling as fast as your feet. The downside to this is that all of the songs share the same title. It sucks for stat tracking. I'd divide this number by 8, do some weird rounding somewhere along the way.

So that leaves me with stuff like Dan Deacon's Build Voice, easily my favourite track this year next to the Animal Collective's My Girls, which is a sexy shower made of sound. But is it my favourite song of all time? Probably not! Last.fm doesn't take into account my whole entire life as a music listening entity. So instead of tunneling deep within myself and narrowing it down to my favourite song of all time, I'm just going to narrow it down to a couple of songs that I really dig.

First up is the Pixies' U-Mass. Nirvana once said that when they made Nevermind that it was theme doing their best attempt at a Pixies' album. If you listen to U-Mass you'll see that it's pretty close. The beginning riff is suspiciously close to Smells Like Teen Spirit, while the structure of the quiet then loud was aped by grunge wannabes. This is my favourite Pixies song.

30 Days

This is getting cross posted from my other blog. Same shit, just different site!

A chick I once dated runs a tiny blog on livejournal that she and a small fistful of friends can access. This is just as well seeing as she’s just become a teacher. When she’s not writing about her husband or the trials and tribulations of being a teach, she does some fun memes. Normally I’m not one to follow them, (blaze my own trail, mother fuckers!) but this one has some good ideas and I’ll force me to try to exercise my writing muscles for the next 30 days.

Here’s the list.

Day 1: My favorite song

Day 2: My favorite movie

Day 3: My favorite television program

Day 4: My favorite book

Day 5: My favorite quote

Day 6: My biggest pet peeve

Day 7: A photo that makes me happy

Day 8: A photo that makes me angry or sad

Day 9: A photo I took

Day 10: A photo of me taken over ten years ago

Day 11: A photo of me taken recently Day 12: Whatever tickles my fancy Day 13: A fictional book

Day 14: A non-fictional book

Day 15: A fanatic

Day 16: A song that makes me cry

Day 17: An art piece

Day 18: Whatever tickles my fancy

Day 19: A talent of mine Day

20: A hobby of mine Day

21: A recipe Day

22: A website

Day 23: A You Tube video

Day 24: Whatever tickles my fancy

Day 25: My day, in great detail

Day 26: My week, in great detail

Day 27: My month, in great detail

Day 28: My year, in great detail

Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

Day 30: Whatever tickles my fancy

The Coachella Breakdown

With the Coachella set times hitting the internet, I've managed to create my tenative short list for the festival. AS of right now, things are looking like this.

Friday

noon-2:00 DJ Mehdi

I'm choosing this guy to go to first since there isn't that many options once the doors are open. I figure that an Ed Banger DJ should be a good way to open the festival

2:00-2:50 the Midnight Juggernauts

This is one of the big reasons that I'm heading to Coachella and I'm pretty happy that I get to see them pretty early on in the show. Dollars to donuts that they're gonna set the energy bar high for the rest of the day.

3:10-4:00 Les Savy Favs

I barely know anything about these guys, but KEXP says that they do kickass live shows, so I'm totally down with that

4:00-4:50 Dan Deacon

I've listened to his album a couple times at the gym now. He's an electronica artist, but he's not that accessible as far as I'm concerned. Exclaim reviewed one of his concerts and said that there's a lot of great visual stuff that goes along with his music, so who knows? Maybe it'll turn out to be badass.

5:00-5:50 the Breeders

If I had a magical wand, I'd use it and turn this into Pixies. The truth is that I DO NOT!

5:50-6:30 Vampire Weekend

It was inbetween these guys and Tegan and Sara, the first major conflict of the today. How was this resolved? If I saw Tegan and Sara it would mean that I'd have to miss the Nation. As much as I love indie-styled ghost-ploitation songs, I love the National much more. Settled.

6:55-7:45 the National

These guys are the cat's meow. One of the big reasons that I'm heading to the concert. That said, checking them out means that I'm gonna be missing Diplo, whose contributions on Aralur were pretty damn awesome.

7:45-8:35 Santogold

This is another pretty big deal for me, but with the National ending at the same time, I'm not sure that I'll be able to do the full set. If she ends up sucking in person, it'll make the pain easier. Or better yet, maybe she'll improve and turn into an awesome musical goddess when I appear.

9:00-9:45 Datarock

Some more dance rock to end the evening.

10:45-whenever Fatboy Slim

This is pretty much a no brainer since I have two testicals and a penis. I think that checking out Jack Johnson would ultimately undo that.

Saturday

12:30-1:10 the Bird and the Bee

I'd love to trade this with the Bees, or possibly the Birds, but the beginning of the day is slim picking. That, and I'm gonna be checking out Institubes on Sunday

1:30-2:20 Uffie

My brother Chritopher is a proponent of Uffie and only because she does the whole "ready to fuck" part of that Justice song. Is the song turns literal it shall make for a thrilling and frightening concert going experience. Stay hot, Uffie!

2:30--3:15 Man Man

There might be a conflict going on here since the posse I'll be with seems to be hot on Kavinsky, but I do dig the Man Man, so, to me, it seems like Man Man's gonna take precedence. Sorry 80s electro, weirdass horns and screms beat you everytime.

3:25-4:30

Exclaim claims that these guys suck live, but I do that Time to Pretend song.

5:00-6:00 Erol Alkan

I have no idea about this guy. I think that Christopher gave him some props?

6:35-7:20 Cinematic Orchestra

If they go fullbore with this and have their full entire orchestra there, I know that this show is gonna be amazing.

7:20-8:10 Rilo Kiley

Gonna be a little late for this one, and baby, that's bad news.

8:20-9:10 M.I.A.

This here's the real deal. I'm totally looking forward to this one.

9:30-10:20 Yelle

Starlet of the French Tecktonik scene is either gonna be the cat's meow, or the cat's ass. I'm crossing my fingers for a bunch of Americans trying to ape the dance stylings of the French.

10:45-end Prince

Because I really don't have that much choice

Sunday

12:00-2:00 Institubes

Two hours of dance. I have no idea if they're any good.

2:00-2:40 Cool Kids

I think that this'll be the first and only time that I'll be checking out a hip hop act at the concert. Rolling Stone says that these are one of the "bands to watch". I plan on taking their advice literally, in this cae.

2:50-3:35 Holy Fuck

Holy Fuck, they're Canadian, and apperently a decent live band. I just like saying holy fuck. That's the real reason people are going to check them out, I'm sure

3:45-4:35 Manchester Orchestra

Not so sure about these guys, but I gotta kill time somewhere along the way

5:30-6:20 Gogol Bordello

I've been told my many people that these guys are utterly amazing live. Stephen, Mike, these guys better be as awesome as you claim

6:20-7:20 Kid Sister

So I lied, it looks like I'm gonna be checking out another hip hop act at the festival

8:30-11:00 Roger Waters

I'm totally conflicted by this one. On one hand, this is gonna be the last time that they're going to be doing Dark Side of the Moon ever here in North America, but, on the other hand, if I were to head to the other tent, I can check out ModeSelektor, Chromeo and Simian Mobile Disco. Not only that, if I do that, I won't be missing any of Justice. I have a feeling that's what'll happen in the end, but still, it'll be a shame to miss Roger Waters

11:00-end Justice

This, I have no doubt, will be the most amazing part of the show

~fin~

7 days until Coachella 2008

A week from now, I am going to be in the United States for the first time in ten year, Coachella 2008. I've been looking forward to this trip since I made arrangements way back in the dead of winter. The thoughts of going to the best music fest in North America made suffering through minus 40 degree weather and frostbite worthwhile. I wouldn't say that the lineup is as good as last year (having fantastic bands like Rage Against the Machine, DJ Shadow, the Arcade Fire, Ghostface Killah amongst others), but this one seems to make up for it with lots of great French dance bands.

As of now, these are the bands that I want to see the most at the concert. It'll be intersting to see how this list compares in over a week after it's all finished.

In no particular order

1) Kraftwerk

The only Kraftwerk that I've managed to hear at this point is the stuff sampled in Afrika Bambaataa's Planet Rock and bits of Tour de France, so I can't say that I'm an uber-fan. With that considered, they are the progenitors of electronica music and they've been known to put on a great show. And with the members of Kraftwerk getting older, it's unlikely that I'll ever get to see 'em live again, so I can't knock that.

2) Roger Waters

There's been a quote floating around the internet saying that Roger Waters doing Dark Side of the Moon live is akin to having Ringo Star doing Sargent Peppers live. I'm no hater and from what I've read, Roger Waters puts on a damn fine show. Checking out the Dark Side of the Moon at Coachella is a matter of historical curiousity for me, as it's the last time it'll be performed in North America. I'm not knocking that.

3) M.I.A.

I have deep seated fears that M.I.A.'s more of a produced artist than a live one. My brother Christopher, who I'm going to the concert with, says that Marc Ronson, who's also appearing, says that she lacks finesse live. This has instilled doubt into my heart of hearts. But when it comes to technical proficiency, one only has to look to Wayne Coyne, who isn't a fantastic singer, to see that an artist who has heart and love for their craft can make for an awersome live act. All the shit that I've read about M.I.A. points to her being awesome live, so that gives me hope.

4) the National

I have no idea if the National are a good live act or not, but I'm a huge fan of their lyrics. Hence, they're an un-negotiable act to miss.

5) Midnight Juggeranuts

If the concert has nearly as much energy this clip here, I'm gonna be a happy man.

6) Justice

I'm keen on seeing Justice for the same reason for wanting to see the Midnight Juggernauts. I'm keen on bouncing up and down for two hours straight high on kickass French Dance.

7) Gogol Bordello

This guys really haven't been high on my radar, and with the exception of Wanderlust King, I'm totally unfamiliar with their music. But that's totally irrelevent. Acording to Mike and Stephen, my friends whose opinion I greatly trust, they put on a kickass live show. If they can make a room full of Vancouverites shake their asses, you gotta give whoever can do that some major props.

Movies I want to see: Space is the Place

After Grindhouse and a discussion with my younger brother, I've decided to check out some more blaxploitation movies. Since everyone's aware of the classics, like Trick Trucker, Superfly, Dolemite, and the Mack, I thought that I'd try my hand at more obscure stuff. Either that, or something weirder.

So weirder I have found.

If you hear the words "Space Is the Place", if you are like me, undoubtedly, you'll remember the song by Spacehog from the late nineties. If you heard the words "Space Is the Place" and were a fan of progressive jazz musician in the 60s, I'm sure that this movie would stir some memories. I know little of this movie, except that it stars Sun-Ra, a somewhat famous jazz musician of the era. I checked out some of his tunes and the good stuff reminds me of Yoko Kano's jazz from Cowboy Bebop, which is a high compliment. The rest, is etherial acid jazz. So if it was a comic book, it would be "What If...the soundtrack to Escape From LA was done by an acid soaked jazzman"? Jazz is cool. It gives me a reason to check out this movie.

Reason two: the costumes. Aren't they awesome? Much like rappers of today, Sun Ra has an overinflated self image. Instead of believing himself to be a god of sex, he sees himself as a literal God. A God who will save us all through jazz and Egypt worship. Who doesn't want that?

Aural Sex: Music from April 15 to April 22nd

Should have updated this earlier, but I am a lazy SOB and/or busy one. Onwards!

Unsurprisingly, Pixies are number one again this week. I attribute this to my listening to their live concert out of Winipeg two years ago. I'm of the opinion that the Pixies' live stuff is a hundred times better than their recorded stuff. Unlike most bands, their banter is kept to a near minimum. The most I heard from the concert recording was Kim Deal asking the audience if they played to Winipeg or not. This met with a deafening "NO!" The concert screams with so much energy that you can practically see Frank Black's sweat come out of the speakers. Great concert, worth hunting down if you're into the Pixies.

The Who is number two thanks to their Live At Leeds album that I pulled off of Soulseek at the end of last week. While the concert on the CD lacks the frantic energy of a Pixies concert, it's worth it just to hear all of the Who's repertoire from the ages in concerto.

New up is Man Man, a small band that everyone should check out. Man Man what Tom Waits would sound if he cloned himself and inserted him into an art band. Some of the songs, are too short and are a little bit too cacophonous, but there's a couple gems in there. Out of their album Six Demon Bag, their best songs are Feathers, Black Mission Goggles (which has the energy of an super powered atomic bomb that can destroy the mother fucking sun!) and Van Helsing Boom Box. The rest is hit or miss, so check yourself before you wreck yourself. They're also fronting for Modest Mouse this summer, which is double plus good since Modest Mouse is awesome (when they're sober).

Clint Mansell's up there since I needed some atmospheric music while I was reading the Ruins. It was the Fountain Soundtrack. (Rob's mini review of the Fountain: Want to see Hugh Jackman cry and people turn into trees? This movie is for you!)

The Embassy's new music that I found through last.fm. From what I recall, it's Swedish, so your millage may vary. The Embassy's techno-lite pop that comes from the Earth's gummy centre. It rots teeth and tickles your ear holes.

The rest isn't really worth commenting on since it's old hat.

As always, you check see what I'm listening to right now by looking up to the left or internet stalking me on my last.fm profile. I got invisible eyes, so I'll see you acoming if you check me out.

The State Of My Shitty Musical Taste

I got myself a big ass ipod now that the breakup has hit the FSJ area. Music's my vacation.

I got myself an 80 gig one thinking that I'd be able to fill it up quickly with my music and tool it up with other dandy things. As of the moment, I've only managed to put 10 gigs of music in there. That's my complete CD collection, with a couple of lost exception as well as three years or so of downloading music. With all that empty space on the ipod, suddenly I've come to the realization that I don't listen to enough music, and that the music that I'm listening to isn't that varied. So I've decided to do my semi-annual music expanding experiment. I've decided that since I've mined out all the good stuff from 80s hip hop, I'm going to start checking out more disco and 70s soul. This is my plan for the future.

That said, I'd digging Of Montreal's new album right now. I've been rather mixed on Of Montreal in the past, liking their beat heavy stuff more so than their meandering slow shit. Out of all the songs in Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer, the best of the lot is the Past Is a Grotesque Animal, an epic 11 plus minute song. The song builds to an explosion like an aural dam bursting after being bombarded with vicious synth. I wholeheartedly recommend this amazing beast of a song.

Today, I have the conch

Before Piggy's (who represents reason) head was brutally smashed in by a rock (which represents man's most base violent impulses) in the classic novel, Lord of the Flies, he held the conch. The conch for those who don't remember Lord of the Flies, was a symbol for democracy, or leadership. Basically, whoever holds the conch, gets to control the island. Got it? My boss has metaphorically passed me the modern day conch on the day to the airport today. While he's conquering the water and fire elements, I hold the mystical cell phone and the date book of order. While it's highly doubtful that I shall get to exercise my executive powers in the next two weeks (blank cheques!), it's nice to know that I'm considered competent enough to run a company for a bit.

The Sound of Music for the week of April 8th to 15th.

Lots of Pixies this week, thanks to me finally transferring my music collection from my old PC to the new one. I doubt that they'll be as much next week, but you can never be too certain. Radio Birdman's up there too, but that's because I transfered their new CD to the computer. Last.fm doesn't track vehicle plays, unfortunately.

The Roots and the Who feature prominently this week thanks to a feature on IGN on the Top 25 Live CDs of All Time. Since I haven't had a chance to listen to all of the Who CD yet, I'm sure that it'll track a lot higher next week.

John Carpenter is on the list, of course, due to Rodriguez's fantastic Planet Terror soundtrack. I digs me Carpenter's crazy synth-o-sounds.

The rest are odds and ends.

As always, you can mock my musical choices, or, better yet, join last.fm so that I can mock yours. It's what makes the world run smooth as a baby's bottom. Or you can gaze to the right and see what I'm listening to right now. SO MANY CHOICES FOR YOUR BRAINS!

Lastly, if you have any new tunes for me to plug into my ear holes, just pop in your comments

Heather Salmon Needs Killer Joints For Paper Movies

My friend Heather is working on another project, Bookworm Music, and this is a good thing. If you have an inkling of what the female nerd scene is like, no doubt you're aware of the idea of a fiction orientated mix cd sountrack is. These communities are scattered across internet tubes like a fistful of pennies. For the most part, these places aren't worth the time and effort. Fueled by the untapped estrogen mines of horny 17 year old women, they spend their after class time creating mix cds for their favourite slash moments. Ever wanted to know which song worms through their brains while they read a story of Frodo's ass being tongued for the first time by Sam while Merry and Pippin lick each other's eyeballs? Beautiful, by Christina Aguilera. This is more true than you want to believe.

Heather is a smart cookie. She's taken the core idea, creating mix cds for paper films and sharpening her knives so that all the shitty parts are taken out. No j-pop, no music dedicated to tender slashy moments, nothing based issue three billion of X-Men. Just soundtracks to movies in your brain made by pop cultural fizz. It's a good idea and a good start. I dig the idea so much that I've created a last.fm site dedicated to it. Give it a check-see. Undoubtably your ears will thank you in the magnificent future

Manhunt 2 lacks Cox, but otherwise, looks good

See that? That's the Manhunt 2 trailer. Spooky, yes?

I'm a huge fan of Manhunt, despite the fact that it's named after a dating site for gay men ( it's true!) I'm not a huge fan of the stealth genre, the only game that I've played besides Manhunt was Metal Gear Solid, but a couple of factors have pushed me to check it out.

Factor 1)

It's Rockstar. And being a drone for Rockstar games that their ability to push new innovative content, I said yes.

Factor 2)

Brian Cox! If the game didn't have Brian Cox, there would be less of a chance that I'd pick it up. Brian Cox is awesome. Did you know that he once played a pedophile *and* played the guy who created Wolverine in the X-Men movies? That, my friends, is called range. Cox one ups himself in Manhunt by playing a snuff obsessed movie director. A snuff director who gets off while you kill gang members and makes quips to encourage your killination. Yes, this is what makes a game worth playing.

This brings me to the stealth genre. Most games of the genre are usually about you sneaking into a base, evading enemies as much as possible along the way. I'm surprised that no one has decided to play with the genre a bit more in terms of content. Wouldn't it make more sense if a game structured on evading your opponents be focused on someone trying to escape from a prison and moving to freedom? There's gold in that there idea, I tells you.

Here We Go Again (Again)

So yeah, I have free time.

For those who are out of the loop (none), for the last three months I've been ovaries deep working for The Man. Or A Man. Or A Dude, since he's not much older than I. Through good fortune, I've been working with a lab tech that used to do my dad's old soil sampling work at ALS. Seeing a lack of line locating in FSJ, last year he started up his own company. Since his brother in law is pussy whipped, he was down one person and since I worked for him a bit during the summer, voila, I have a job.

And busy I have been. All the way from mid January to the end of March, I think that I had something like 6-8 days off. Considering how this was a relatively quiet winter, I think that the company will do well when things pick up next winter.

This leaves me with free time for the next time. A lot of it, I say! Thus, I've decided to get back on the blogging bandwagon. Therefore, expect to see daily posting here and on MKZ until work gets busy again.

Thus endth the lesson

Rob needs new music badly

I've been going through a huge electro kick for the last week and a half, but I'm starting to get sick of it and am looking for something new. Does anyone have any bands or, more importantly, any music blogs to recommend to me so that I can have a massive influx of killer new tunes?

Many thanks!

Why should you check out Crispin Glover? Well, really, you should.

David sent me an email last night saying that Crispin Glover's weirdo magnet, What Is It is playing in Salt Lake City. He wanted me to use my love of Glover's madness to justify checking out the movie. This is what I shall attempt to do.

First off, why Glover? I don't know. Why not? He's probably Hollywood's most genuine madman. We're not talking about Johnny Depp faux mysteriouso, nah. Glover does cool shit like collect old dentist chairs is is dating a Playboy model. The guy is obsessed with old books, spending a fair bit of time either collecting them or pulling a Burroughs and doing some cut-up work with them and re releasing them as new work. He also is a Volcano fanatic, spending his spare time recreating famous ones in his abode. See also, the name of his company.

Witness my shitty selling skills! In all honesty, I'd only recommend checking out What Is It if Glover's there in person. The reviews for the flick have been pretty much negative. Too weird, too avant guard, I guess. Anyhow, if Glover's there, you get the full meal deal. He usually screens his movie accompanied by a slide show of his picture books mixed with some of his music with a side order of Q&A.

So voila! Reasons to check out Crispin Glover

Holy wii internet channel, Batman!

Future shock: I'm posting this from the wii. Nintendo's little console that could has proven to be a pretty amazing little box. Or an obese ipod on lots of drugs. Strange drugs. I came to the wii because of the virtual console. The ability to download Nintendo's library of games for less than a rental? Yeah, I'm sold. Truth be told, I've spent more money on the Virtual Console service than I've actually spent on games. Nintendo is no doubt laughing while bathing in trillion dollar notes.

I give Nintendo major props for doing one things right: making my mom play Wii bowling. They get extra bonus points for the fact that she enjoyed it. This is a major coup considering how many times she threatened to "destroy that godaweful machine". Nintendo has appeared on the side of angels for the first time in forever.

Lots of talk about wii sports and the new Zelda game being the game of the year. I call bullshit on that. The game of the year is easily the wii channel. Everyone that's seen it, or played with it, seems to be hypnotized by its uncanny abilities. Bring it to a party, I bet you that you'll spend a good hour making miis, and none of that time will feel wasted. It makes creativity a collaborative activity. This isn't a bad thing.

Butter dogs

Lets talk about Japan, shall we? Everyone knows that in Japan, things are a tad more strange here, right? This is the country where you can buy panties from vending machines, where manga artists spend more time and effort into drawing ropes in a bondage comic than they do on a woman. They have cafes were chicks dressed up as maids will wait on unsocialable nerds for a fair price. Get the picture?

Want to know about the butter dogs? Listen. First, they get a chick who is willing to do anything, and I mean anything on camera for a couple of yen. Second, they lather her cunt in butter. That's right, creamy straight from the cow butter. It's lathered inside and around their cunt. Third: they let out the dog. The dog's hungry, smells the butter and begins to lick. Butter dogs.

In Japan, you can't see genitalia in hardcore porn. It's like that scene in the movie, Memoirs of an Invisible Man, where Chevey Chase takes off his pants when he's dreaming. Instead of privates, you saw blurry plaid. It's like that with Japanese porn, only less plaid. Get this: in Japan, butter dogs get awards for their performances, but you can't see what a woman's pussy looks like. How fucked is that?

Snakes on the Brain

When my kids ask me when Snakes on a Plane hit its cultural zenith,
I'll tell them that it was when they did a tv specuak on pedophiles.
In order to catch society's sickest sexual deviants, they had adults
pose as children. One of the handles for a 13 year old sex pot was
"Snakes on a Girl". Cultural significance at its finest.

Not much else to say about the flick until I see it with Stephen and
company this evening. I had a dream about the movie last night.
Instead of being about Snakes on a Plane, it was about Snakes on a Bus
in Outerspace! It was sorta like Speed meets Snakes on a Plane...in
outer space. The calm cool collected bus driver helped passengers
fight planet sized snakes with staying on schedule. If there's any
justice in the world, this will be the plot of the sequel.

Post your thoughts about the movie here. Everyone knows you'll see it tonight.

Joementum

Remember "Joementum"? It was a mythical energy force that was
supposed to propel the frog voiced Lieberman to presidential victory a
couple years ago. He had an amazing plan to harnice this strange
force live on Fox tv. The would be to appear naked on Hannity on
Colmes. How he'd do this without distrupting the show is a mystery to
me, honestly. After that, he'd stretch the sagging fat under his
arms, affectionately nicked named "water wings" into fleshy bat wings.
He'd then invoke the rites of the Ancient Demonocrats to bless him
with the Spirit of the Vote. Unholy engery would then fill the
studio, lifting him into the air and he'd escape the studio. Flying
through the air, an ancient 600 year old dinosaur, voters would feel
compell to leave their homes so that they could view the spectacle.
His liver spots would bloom, and out of them a vote enducing
psychoactive would excrete from the beautifl holes. From the heavens
a mist would descend to God's favoured nation and Lieberman would
guarentee his place in presidental history. His muppet like face
would feed on the blood of fat babies. He'd shit tax breaks for the
rich. Terrorism would be a thing of the past. If it wasn't for the
true instrument of evil, Ned Lamont we'd be living in a perfect
world. Alas, poor Joe. Alas, poor us.

Miwako Takabe is still easily one of the most beautiful women that I know.